I was driving down the right lane of a two-lane highway (speed limit 55), about 9:15 pm on the way home from work. Wasn’t feeling particularly speedy, so I was going about 60 in the right lane. There was a car ahead of me going slower, so I checked the left lane to see about passing him. No one there except a car far back in the distance. I moved into the left lane, and all of the sudden the car that was very far away is almost on top of me; he had to have been doing about 90. Naturally he tailgates me, so I speed up to pass the other car and get out of his way, probably to about 70. As I got back into the right lane, he gunned his engines and rocketed directly into the line of sight of the state trooper that was hidden in the median. Reader, he was pulled over. I drove away cheering.
If I ever open a sandwich shop, I’m going to have a sandwich called The Manwich, which will have turkey, ham, mayo, mustard, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, and smoked mozzarella on a roll. Then I’ll have a sandwich called The Womanwich, which will be the exact same thing plus olives. My employees will detest me.
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