BEEP BOOP

Hello!

I wrote three different things before settling on that as my first line. Now you know what kind of a person I am.

BelgianWaffles2

She closed her eyes as she took the first bite of her scrumptious waffle and sighed a small sigh of contentment. She was home.

So I’m Darla, and I’m starting a blog. Why am I starting a blog? Here are a few reasons:

  1. I have an unshakable habit of narrating my life in my head and obsessing on what the best phrasing for that narrative would be. This brings me anxiety because I feel like it’s a waste of time and energy, to stress over, say, the best way to describe the way I’m eating a waffle while I’m still eating it I want to know what will happen if I write it all down rather than focusing energy on getting the little voice to shut up.
  2. I used to think that I was a little old to start something as presumptuous as a blog – in my head, all bloggers have been blogging since their preteens. apparently. Then I read Felicia Day’s book and learned that she was 28 when she made The Guild, and look at her now, you guys. Look at her now. I can at least try to write a goddamn blog and see if I get anything out of it.
  3. I’m always taking pictures of shit I do but then not posting them anywhere. If I have a blog, maybe I’ll post them. And write about what they’re pictures of. And then I’ll go out of my way to have more meaningful experiences so I can photograph them and blog them. Soon I’ll be eating foie gras caviar on a river boat in the French Alps, all because of this blog, right?

There are a few things you might like to know about me and my blog to keep you reading. I haven’t told anyone I know about it. My husband knows I’m writing something because I asked his advice in setting it up, but not what. So if you’re a stranger reading this, please let me know that I’m not alone on this cold and distant planet. I hope you brought Chex Mix and vodka. If you’re my friend and you’re reading this, then LOOK OVER THERE, IS THAT CHEX MIX AND VODKA? *runs away*  I’m eclectic, which is a kind thing I tell myself to describe what is probably some form of ADHD. I couldn’t keep a single-subject blog if I tried. I could be the ultimate master craftsman in, say, topiary design, but if I started a topiary design blog I’d eventually decide it’s pretentious and hate it and myself within weeks, quit my job and become a barista. Which I would also hate. Good job, blog. If I keep it diverse, maybe I’ll keep writing. Here are some topics that could appear soon at a this blog near you:

  • Books! I read a lot – not CRAZY a lot like real book bloggers, but enough. My love of books contributed to my becoming a children’s librarian.
  • Crafts, which is the other half of the children’s librarian thing. But I’m really bad at keeping up with crafts and perfecting my abilities, so don’t expect Renoir or anything you guys. Expect lumpy felted Pikachu. You also might find descriptions of programs I’m doing for work, so that could be fun and educational, I guess.
  • Video games and board games, because I’m an adult and I do what I want with my life now.
  • Cartoons and stuff.
  • Baby animals?
  • The looming presence of mortality in the life of the American adult.
  • Food I like.
  • LISTS, APPARENTLY.

That’s enough listing. I’m super tired because I was sitting around at a hospital all day – why is sitting around the most exhausting thing? My city grandmother was crossing the street and got hit by a car that backed into her because he saw a parking spot he wanted. GOOD JOB DRIVER, you shattered her kneecap and she needed surgery. I took a shift keeping an eye on her because she’s adorably out of it. The adorable part was how she’d do stuff like ask a really deep question (“did you always think you would marry young?”) but fall asleep before I could even start to answer (“is 25 young all of the sudden?”). The not adorable part was how she couldn’t figure out how to call the nurse then forgot she wanted to even though she still needed a bedpan. WELP. Good thing my awesome other family members will be watching her tomorrow, because mama needs a new pair of sneakers. I’m so tired I’m nauseous. Goodnight, first blog post.

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